Another day, another cancelled IVF cycle

The title says it all, doesn’t it?  What I was fearing the most happened and unfortunately my second IVF cycle was cancelled, much like the first one due to a poor response.  Actually, this cycle was worse than the last one in that only one follicle was larger than 10, although I had ten follicles to start with.  They just didn’t grow.  This cycle I also added acupuncture to the mix along with quitting working out entirely and just resting.  There were the obligatory tears on cancellation day (last Wednesday) and some heavy moping for a couple days.  On Friday I went in for a follow up consultation with my RE that left M and me actually feeling much better.

We went over how the past two protocols didn’t seem to even rouse my scrambled eggs at all, and she made two professional suggestions – #1 try one more time with my own eggs on an Antagonist protocol, or/and #2 move on to donor eggs.  The past two cycles I have been on a Microflare protocol, which is typically used on women with DOR such as myself.  Cycle 1 I started on the protocol on CD3, and Cycle 2 I took BCP’s for two weeks and then started the protocol.  I’ve never tried Antagonist protocol.  Donor eggs have always been a consideration from the start of this journey, since I knew egg supply was so severely lacking.  Believe it or not, this consultation made me feel better because I was sure my RE was going to suggest not even trying again with my own eggs at all.  Hearing her say that we have one more protocol to try if we choose was reassuring to M and to me.  Obviously nothing is guaranteed, but at least there is hope.

Getting this information from my RE cemented the decision for us to try IVF one more time with my own eggs.  My RE is a very up front person and not one to sugar coat anything.  I like this because it makes me feel like I can trust her, and she will tell us the truth even if it’s difficult to hear (like at the beginning of this journey when I was literally in tears in her office, so shocked by my infertility news).  Sometimes it’s tough, but at the same time I would always rather know the reality of a situation, especially about something as important as my fertility.  We will try the Antagonist protocol, and keep our fingers crossed!  If we are not successful, we will most likely be making the decision to move on to donor eggs, but we will cross that bridge when (if) we get there.  I am not opposed to donor eggs, I just want to make sure I exhaust all possible options before we take that step.  I guess I mentally want to feel like I’ve done everything I can to conceive my own child with my own eggs, and then I can feel at peace about making other decisions.  I’m so grateful we will be able to have one more chance.

With that decision made, M and I have decided to take a short break from IVF for the next few months to enjoy the fall and the holidays.  I am also going back to school next month, I have 12 more credits to take in order to finish up my Associates Degree.  IVF has taken so much of our time, energy, and finances that I think we need a small break to regroup.  We plan to start our third and final cycle in late January/early February after I celebrate my (gasp) 35th birthday January 23.

I have to say I am actually looking forward to a little time off from actively TTC.  We are not going to be doing any charting as the chances we can conceive naturally are slim to none (besides my lovely issues we also have M’s male factor to contend with).  So we are just going to let the pieces fall where they may.  I am looking forward to getting some running in for the next month or so until the weather gets a little too cold for my taste, and M and I have signed up for a charity 5k in early October.  I am also excited to focus more on my relationship with M.  Thankfully, our relationship is stronger than ever, but we have been so focused on doctors and shots and ultimately disappointments that we have not had a lot of fun, silly time.  It will be nice to get back to that.

During this break I will continue to take my supplements, but after some consideration I do not think I will continue with acupuncture.  It’s very expensive and my insurance does not cover it.  In the research I’ve found through Dr. Google, it seems to state that acupuncture has been promising to infertility because of increased blood flow to the uterus, and also because of its relaxation benefits and stress reduction.  In talking to my RE she seemed to reiterate these findings, especially emphasizing the stress reducing benefits.  She said that anything I can do to reduce stress with be beneficial physically, in all areas.  I personally think my yoga and the occasional professional massage can help me with blood flow and stress, so I think I will be utilizing these two things in place of acupuncture.

Of course I will still be blogging as well!  Maybe now I can get to the sundry part of this blog and write about some other things that are important to me.  Scrambled eggs is a huge part of who I am right now, but it is not the only part!  I thinks it’s time to devote some time to the rest of me as well 🙂  As always, thanks for listening (reading) and for all the lovely comments I’ve received.  They help so much ❤

19 thoughts on “Another day, another cancelled IVF cycle

  1. You sound great and it must feel awesome to have a plan. I did acupuncture and feel the same as you. I feel that it’s something I can get from yoga and fertility massage. Hang in there. I think the time off will be awesome. Looking forward to more posts during your non-ttc time!!!

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  2. I’m so sorry!! It’s great that you trust your RE though! Sometimes it’s so hard to figure out if they’re just trying to sell you on more treatment, or if they’re truly trying to help you. Enjoy your time off!! xo

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    • scrambledeggsandsundry says:

      Sometimes I think clinics want their patients to NOT do many cycles because failed cycles will bring down their overall statistics. It’s so difficult to know what’s right. In my mind I just really wanted to try three times, for some reason I think that will make me feel like I did everything I could. Doing more would be such an emotional and financial burden, if it were possible at all. Thanks for the comment 🙂

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  3. Marriedwithendo says:

    You’re on the east coast, right? If I were you I would check out a facility like New Hope in New York. With an antral follicle count of 10 you certainly do not need donor eggs. Drives me crazy every time I hear an RE tell that to a patient just because they don’t produce follicles with traditional IVF protocols. What you likely need is mini or natural IVF. If your doctor’s next move is try to high stims yet again, even if it’s a little different protocol, you need a different doctor. Do lots of research before doing another IVF cycle. I, too, failed at traditional IVF using the antagonist and long Lupron protocols. They didn’t work for me and they don’t work for a lot of women with DOR. Mini IVF has been a whole new ball game. (And major bonus – it’s so much easier on your body!) Here’s a forum that may be helpful to you: http://www.network54.com/Forum/53068/

    Don’t worry, there’s several of us that are under 40 that post to the board as well. Good luck!! You still have options to try with your own eggs!

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    • scrambledeggsandsundry says:

      Thanks, I will definitely check this out. If finances were not a factor I would probably be willing to try just about anything! Since I am not a millionaire I need to choose my course of treatment very carefully. Thanks for the info 🙂

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      • Marriedwithendo says:

        You can usually do three cycles of mini IVF for the cost of one traditional cycle! FYI – I do know that the prices on New Hope’s website are not accurate. I can’t remember the exact prices, but Life IVF in California is a comparable facility and they charge 12,000 for three cycles of mini IVF or 10,000 if you do three natural cycles. Total meds for three cycles will be a few hundred depending on if you do boosters. It’s incredibly frustrating how expensive IVF is! Good luck on whatever you decide!

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    • scrambledeggsandsundry says:

      Thank you so much. I feel quite numb this cycle for some reason. I Don’t know what I feel. Just trying to be positive and more forward. Hoping the break will help.

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  4. Over here in Japan, the walls at most fertility clinics are thing. Whenever its bad news, you can usually hear the woman crying through the walls, even if she’s crying quietly.

    A couple times I was the crying woman.

    But sometimes I’d hear in Japanese the doctor apologize and then the sobs would begin and you sit there waiting your turn as you hear the sound of heartbreak in the next room and wonder, “Am I next?”

    However, every once in a while you hear that “It worked. Congratulations” and the cries are that of happiness.

    I wonder if all those setbacks are to make it so much more powerful when its good news.

    I hope that one day your tears of sorrow will become those of joy. 🙂

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    • scrambledeggsandsundry says:

      Thank you so much for this comment. I appreciate it! I have been absent from this blog (again) and it was so nice to read this as my welcome back:)

      Liked by 1 person

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