The title says it all, doesn’t it? What I was fearing the most happened and unfortunately my second IVF cycle was cancelled, much like the first one due to a poor response. Actually, this cycle was worse than the last one in that only one follicle was larger than 10, although I had ten follicles to start with. They just didn’t grow. This cycle I also added acupuncture to the mix along with quitting working out entirely and just resting. There were the obligatory tears on cancellation day (last Wednesday) and some heavy moping for a couple days. On Friday I went in for a follow up consultation with my RE that left M and me actually feeling much better.
We went over how the past two protocols didn’t seem to even rouse my scrambled eggs at all, and she made two professional suggestions – #1 try one more time with my own eggs on an Antagonist protocol, or/and #2 move on to donor eggs. The past two cycles I have been on a Microflare protocol, which is typically used on women with DOR such as myself. Cycle 1 I started on the protocol on CD3, and Cycle 2 I took BCP’s for two weeks and then started the protocol. I’ve never tried Antagonist protocol. Donor eggs have always been a consideration from the start of this journey, since I knew egg supply was so severely lacking. Believe it or not, this consultation made me feel better because I was sure my RE was going to suggest not even trying again with my own eggs at all. Hearing her say that we have one more protocol to try if we choose was reassuring to M and to me. Obviously nothing is guaranteed, but at least there is hope.
Getting this information from my RE cemented the decision for us to try IVF one more time with my own eggs. My RE is a very up front person and not one to sugar coat anything. I like this because it makes me feel like I can trust her, and she will tell us the truth even if it’s difficult to hear (like at the beginning of this journey when I was literally in tears in her office, so shocked by my infertility news). Sometimes it’s tough, but at the same time I would always rather know the reality of a situation, especially about something as important as my fertility. We will try the Antagonist protocol, and keep our fingers crossed! If we are not successful, we will most likely be making the decision to move on to donor eggs, but we will cross that bridge when (if) we get there. I am not opposed to donor eggs, I just want to make sure I exhaust all possible options before we take that step. I guess I mentally want to feel like I’ve done everything I can to conceive my own child with my own eggs, and then I can feel at peace about making other decisions. I’m so grateful we will be able to have one more chance.
With that decision made, M and I have decided to take a short break from IVF for the next few months to enjoy the fall and the holidays. I am also going back to school next month, I have 12 more credits to take in order to finish up my Associates Degree. IVF has taken so much of our time, energy, and finances that I think we need a small break to regroup. We plan to start our third and final cycle in late January/early February after I celebrate my (gasp) 35th birthday January 23.
I have to say I am actually looking forward to a little time off from actively TTC. We are not going to be doing any charting as the chances we can conceive naturally are slim to none (besides my lovely issues we also have M’s male factor to contend with). So we are just going to let the pieces fall where they may. I am looking forward to getting some running in for the next month or so until the weather gets a little too cold for my taste, and M and I have signed up for a charity 5k in early October. I am also excited to focus more on my relationship with M. Thankfully, our relationship is stronger than ever, but we have been so focused on doctors and shots and ultimately disappointments that we have not had a lot of fun, silly time. It will be nice to get back to that.
During this break I will continue to take my supplements, but after some consideration I do not think I will continue with acupuncture. It’s very expensive and my insurance does not cover it. In the research I’ve found through Dr. Google, it seems to state that acupuncture has been promising to infertility because of increased blood flow to the uterus, and also because of its relaxation benefits and stress reduction. In talking to my RE she seemed to reiterate these findings, especially emphasizing the stress reducing benefits. She said that anything I can do to reduce stress with be beneficial physically, in all areas. I personally think my yoga and the occasional professional massage can help me with blood flow and stress, so I think I will be utilizing these two things in place of acupuncture.
Of course I will still be blogging as well! Maybe now I can get to the sundry part of this blog and write about some other things that are important to me. Scrambled eggs is a huge part of who I am right now, but it is not the only part! I thinks it’s time to devote some time to the rest of me as well 🙂 As always, thanks for listening (reading) and for all the lovely comments I’ve received. They help so much ❤